Sweaty Yeti

I can’t believe people are still talking about Fox News when this is so clearly the highlight of the thread. It’s like the other day, when people wanted to discuss the MLK post-assassination pictures rather than the fact that the OP spelled the dude’s name “Martian Luther King”. Some people in the thread were like, “Get over the goddamn typo already,” but I’m all, “Dude, the concept of ‘Martian Luther King’ is like the greatest thing I’ve heard all month.” -MF

MEATBALLS AT THE FURNITURE STORE

Somebody said let’s make Swedish meatballs at the furniture store
And somebody else said, that’s a stupid idea; nobody’s going to want meatballs at the furniture store.
And the first guy on that first day, his ass was on the line.
And so one customer came for lunch, he knew he had to get rid of the meatballs
And he was like, yeah, you want meatballs from the furniture store?
And they’re like, yeah, I guess; my wife has been dragging them around forever.
Anything. Just whatever. I was thinking about eating an ottoman
A little while ago but then meatballs has actual meat in it
And then the guy behind the counter said, well, I’m not really sure
But ya, ya, sure. So then he takes the meatballs
And he has to put them on a huge plate
Because he has to get rid of them.
Otherwise, you know, the big Swede is going to say
That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.
And so now that one fat guy who had the big bowl of meatballs
Now buys all of his furniture there and has told all of his fat friends,
Buy your furniture there because your wife will walk around
And you’ll have an hour worth of eating meatballs.

-Glenn Beck

Wacky Bracket FTW!

jeffbaum:

I found myself in first place after round one of the Madness in my friend’s bracket pool. I have Dayton and Arizona in the Sweet 16. I picked Wisconsin to win. And Western Ky. Sounds great, right? Well, the problem with making a Wacky Bracket is that it’s Wacky through and through. So I have Gonzaga, Villanova and Perdue in the Final 4, along with Louisville. A lot of craziness has to happen to hold onto the lead, but this is the first time I’ve had a genuinely competitive bracket on Saturday in like a decade.

This is one of my three brackets I filled out. The other two are by no means screwed. My Elite 8s are all still intact. We’ll see how it all looks Sunday night…

Although I had three teams going to the Sweet Sixteen that got knocked out in the First Round, the other 13 games I had remaining for the Second Round all broke my way, so I have 13/16 teams, and a possible in-tact Elite Eight.

DM: Your battle with Forgmchrys has awakened the slumbering spirit of the evil that plagues this land. A shadow arise from the very city itself and takes the form. The god R’c’ssion has found you.

Cleric: Disbelieve. I roll to disbelieve.

DM: -Rolls Dice-. You fail your saving throw vs. Reality. R’c’ssion advances.

Mage: I cast Mordenkainen’s Greater Stimulus Package.

DM: You don’t have enough spell points to do that.

Mage: What do you mean? I have 59. That’s more than enough.

DM: Some of those spell points aren’t really on your side.

Mage: Goddammit. Fine, I cast Mana Link with the Cleric so we can share mana.

DM: That requires the Cleric’s cooperation, Cleric -

Cleric: No.

Mage: What?

Cleric: Just no.

Mage: Son of a bitch.

DM: You still have an action left, Mage.

Mage: Fine. I cast Lesser Stimulus Package.

DM: -Rolls Dice-. A bright cloud of shimmering light envelopes the beast. It seems to be working - the creature is spreading out, as if it’s slowly dissipating. Or is it growing?

Via.